I don't know what to do, never within my life have I felt so lost. My fiance left about 2 weeks ago, and some legal issues became involved. I saw him a few days ago and he told me that he would help out with me and our daughter if we ever needed anything. Then the last time I saw him he said that I did something wrong and e wasn't going to help out anymore. I havn't called him or done anything to contact him thinking he would call or come by and he hasn't. I dont know what I've done so wrong I never thought he would do this. I can't handle this. I miss him so much our daughter misses him. I've done everything I can think of to forget about him but I can't. I just want him home. even if we never become a couple again I want him to be there for our daughter and stick to his word when he says he will do something. Please I don't know what to pray for or what to do. -- Heather

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Dear Beloved One,

Though you are in the midst of your own pain and need to be in a process with this, it is important that you know that many others are also going through sudden transitions in relationships based on similar events. The reason for these sudden changes is not anyone's 'fault', and is not based on anything you have done or could have not done. What is happening for many as a result of increased spiritual light on the planet is that feelings that were formerly buried in people are now rising to the surface where they can either be dealt with in a more conscious way, or acted out. These feelings are not just about an 'other' or 'significant other'. They are, more importantly, about the self. When difficult feelings within and about the self occur, it is very common to then project them onto a situation or person or relationship which then becomes the 'cause' of the difficulty. You are not the cause.

The difficulty of this time that we are in, dear Heather, is that relationships that seemed stable in former days or times are now becoming unstable, and much is changing that one would have thought would be permanent or more permanent. This is not something that can be undone. The one who is experiencing the new upsurge of feelings and awareness has to choose to do something different about this awareness other than act it out. Often, this is not possible, since it appears to that one that the external situation or relationship is the cause of the difficulty.

Many are in the pain that you are in, dear one, and while you wish to hold on to what was, it may not be possible. For the same reason it may not be possible to have the kind of non-coupled relationship that would be a compromise for your heart and yet a benefit for your daughter. Though what you wish for is entirely reasonable and you can inquire in this direction, you need to prepare your heart to let go at the same time, without panic, and without self-blame or blame of your former partner.

This letting go does not typically happen in such a short space of time. Grief and turmoil are often part of the experience that you are going through and they must be dealt with, too, as part of the process. But a large measure of peace can be gained by knowing that you are not at fault in this situation, and by releasing blame altogether. It is also important that you know that your daughter will be alright even if she has only one loving parent to love her. It is not the best situation, but it is one that many children at this time in the world's history are going through and that their soul has chosen.

Let your inner process continue, dear Heather, without trying to force things and without blame. In the end, the separation that causes so much pain in the present will lead to positive changes in the future. Blessings - Julie Redstone