My father commited suicide when I was six and my step father died of cancer in 1998. My ex-husband forged my signature to refinance our home and put it into foreclosure, opened credit cards in my name, cheated, etc. No one seemed interested in helping me against him. I lost shared custody of my children two years ago when I could not handle all the stress and was hospitalized for depression. He has since remarried, gotten two cars (one new), bought a house, etc. I am living and working with a married man whose life gets more complicated every day. I feel abandoned and lost. I want to settle down and feel I deserve love, respect and opportunities. I am a very caring person and have given to others many times over. My weakness is that I am impatient and I do not feel that God recognizes how hard I have tried to do the right thing. I feel he is punishing me. -- S.

-----------------------

Dear Beloved One,

Your life has been filled with many losses, and how you deal with them will determine whether you can now construct a life for yourself that has meaning, joy, and love in it, or whether the future will repeat old patterns.

At the present time you are feeling hopeless and abandoned by God. However, this is not true. It is because the painful circumstances of your life lack any other visible explanation that you are giving yourself this one. Beloved one, you are not being punished. You are being asked to learn from your experiences. The question is: what is it you are being asked to learn from so much pain and loss?

The answer to that lies within you, beloved one, and must be reflected upon. It is a positive answer, not a negative one. For now, however, what is most needed is to deal with the pain you are in and to find love and support so that you can feel upheld instead of alone. This is both spiritual support and support on the embodied level from others who can understand what you have gone through and are going through. It is important not to be alone with this.

A small purification support group may be starting soon and I encourage you to get in touch with me about it. Also, finding others in your own environment who can help you seek spiritual answers to the questions you are asking about why things happen, is important.

You are greatly loved, beloved, and are not being punished. Blessings - Julie Redstone