Dear Julie,

I need help in the form of guuidance and prayers, please! I feel ok and then all of a sudden, I feel sad. This year has been a year of major changes and transformaitons for me. My dad passed away in March and I was very close to him. I am 46 years old, look younger, am described as beautiful, am in good shape and health, have a big heart and all around nice person. Then, why... are sad things happening to me? I am not in a loving relationship since four years now and long to be with a loving man, my perfect man. I rarely use this word but I hate the job I m in. The people there, the management doesnt appreciate me. I feel so out of place in the world most of the time. I wish I could just resign from this job. Then I ask myself, 'why am I not quitting." What am I afraid of. I am struggling and feel like I am going no where. I meditate every day and love my spriritual practice. I am a Counsellor for 18 years and a Reiki Master for three years. One would think I would know some of the answers but I dont. I am also doing my doctorate in Metaphysics through on line studies and having difficulty finding time to study. I love Metaphysics so its fun for me to study but even then I cant seem to find the time or motivation to do it. Please help me. I dont know what else to do. -- Huma

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Dear One,

It is a sad time when nothing feels quite right or satisfying and even the things that you think 'should' feel good, don't. This is the time you are in, dear one - a time of transition between one way of life and another - a time in which your soul is longing for a channel for its greater expression and in which none has appeared yet on the horizon. As a result, you are walking around with a sense of melancholy which erupts into a stronger form of sadness periodically, due primarily to the lack of fulfillment that comes from a partial awakening on the soul level, with no form of expression available yet. This is also the reason for not leaving a job that is unsatisfying, namely, that on a deeper level you don't know where there is to go.

Your sadness about your father's passing adds to this melancholy but is not the primary source of it. In fact, the great richness of your relationship with your father continues on within your heart as a source of love and comfort, in addition to its being a source of sorrow.

More to the point, there is a longing present to find a true means for expression. And even though you have found creative work, healing work, and useful work in the past, the increased closeness of the spiritual and physical planes and the arrival of greater light on Earth is intensifying a purification process within you and activating the desire to feel and live your true purpose for being here. Simultaneously, it is causing all that is not that to feel insufficient or lacking.

In your search for answers to the question of why you are sad you are looking at the ordinary good things that life can offer as possible explanations - a loving relationship with a partner, meaningful work in which you are appreciated, a sense of excitement in relation to your studies. However, while these are all good things to strive for, your spiritual being is hungry for more.

Try to let the sadness be, for now, dearest one, while you pray for further awakening to lead you to your spiritual purpose and home. This will allow your heart to open further to find its true way to the place and work that is your deepest truth. This cannot happen through an act of will, nor can it happen before it is time. Try to be patient with this period of time and to wait for what your heart really longs for.

You have come to the Earth with a sacred and holy purpose that has not yet fully manifested that is being stirred by the collective awakening now taking place. Believe that it will come to pass and pray for this as well. In the meantime, let yourself be nourished in all the ways of Spirit that feel real to you, and leave behind all the ways that no longer feel real. As you do this, your heart will naturally gravitate toward the path and persons it resonates with, and in this way you will begin to orient toward your true spiritual calling.

Blessings, beloved one. Your devotion to the purposes of Spirit is acknowledged and appreciated as is your desire to help others to come into the light. Let more time go by and more will unfold before you. With love - Julie