Dear Julie,

(July 17, 2008) I was in a very abusive relationship for years. It took me 5 years to get a divorce and then many, many court hearings from my x just to keep on with his control. I lived in a women's shelter for 2 years with my children. I have a permant restraining order against him after he tried to kill me several times... I was finally able to leave the state in 2000 and I thought the past would me over. But he keeps on, court is his only way to keep trying to hurt me. Can you tell me what I am to learn from this, as I guess I haven't got it yet...

(Aug. 18, 2008) Much to my relief the court denied his request to remove the restraining order. My question now is how do I get out from under this negative person. I have ptsd and I hate the way I respond to this situation. I have been ill and the doctor gave me xanax. I don't like taking the meds. but I have not been able to put this away. I have really tried. I have prayed and meditated. I have tried to forgive, but it doesn't stop. I would like to know how to not get involved in this and be on the outside looking in. Any help you could give me would be wonderful.

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Dearest Kathy,

The situation is a difficult one, both spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Years of living with fear and stress have taken their toll and have established energetic circuits within your brain and body that constitute the basis for post-traumatic stress. This is a condition which activates the same physical and emotional responses in a person, even when the stressor is no longer present.

In relation to extricating yourself from the present dynamic between you and your ex-husband, what is most important to recognize is that inner conditions of feeling and consciousness determine the outer. We are forever and at all times creating our own reality. Therefore, if you were able to change the inner conditions of fear related to feeling powerless and helpless over a long period of time, the outer conditions would also be affected.

Fear, however, often has deep roots, not only when specific actions have been taken that evoke fear in human beings, but also when it has played a part in the soul's history in other lifetimes, constituting a major emotional thread that binds people together - the victim to the oppressor, and the oppressor to the victim. Often, in successive lifetimes, souls have experiences with being on both sides of this equation, sometimes more on one side, sometimes more on the other.

For many reasons, then, fear and other intense emotions can become deeply ingrained in the circuitry of the body and in the psyche so that they keep circulating through the emotional and spiritual bloodstream, and so that they continue to act as an activating force in influencing external reality.

What may influence this picture in a different direction? That which overcomes fear, creating a sense of peace, light, and of God's presence. These inner conditions need to be strong enough to form the basis for a new identity and a new identification so that when fear from the past is present, a new set of responses can be evoked. For this to happen when there has not been a great deal of trauma in the past is easier than when there has. Post-traumatic stress creates difficulty in establishing and maintaining new responses because of the internal 'wiring' that has already taken place, and so it becomes even more important where this is true, to find ways of anchoring oneself strongly in a place of light.

Energetic changes of a more deliberate kind may be needed for this purpose - a change in those whom one associates with in order to reinforce the presence of light, the commitment to a spiritual practice that can bring light into the body, a change in diet so that the body can let go more easily of former energetic patterns it has been holding onto, and a cleansing diet, repeated regularly, so that the cells and tissues can free themselves more effectively from the emotional and physical toxins that they have been carrying.

You are understandably distressed by the difficulty of overcoming all that has happened to you that now lives within your body. Nevertheless, dear one, it is possible to do so by working toward shifting your identity to a different foundation so that you no longer identify with these events of the past, but have a new focus and a new orientation within yourself and with God. Increasing light on the Earth at this time will help you do this, but patience is also needed.

Fear and the circumstances which created it have come into this lifetime with you in order to allow you to learn from them, and one of the major things to learn has had to do with the difference between possession and love. Another has to do with the strengthening of an inner sense of self that cannot be swayed by external forces of any kind, but that feels secure within itself. In all the ways that are available to you, seek the strengthening of your inner self and the cleansing of your body and emotions so that new energetic configurations can result. There are forms of energetic healing that will help you do this, and there is also, as said, a need to change your diet so that it supports holding greater light in your body.

In the new place of identity, instead of feeling helpless, you will feel whole, and instead of feeling victimized, you will feel that you stand with God in the center of your own life. Blessings - Julie

For assistance with making a dietary shift, you may find helpful the Sacred Consciousness of Food and also talking with Mashubi about this. You may also wish to read Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - A Spiritual Perspective. Blessings.